Aberro Specus

So on occasion my father gets these desires to go to Amusement Parks. He’s an avid fan of roller coasters, as well as parks in general. We generally always go to at least one each summer. Sadly neither my mother or I like roller coasters* so he generally doesn’t get to go on them, but a few years ago we took the girl I was dating at the time and she liked them, and this time Crista went, and she does as well, so he got to go on some. So Monday night he decided that we were going to go to Busch Gardens the next day. It’s a four hour drive, but that’s not a big deal, so we got up at 4A.M. and bundled into the car for our day of fun.

For some background, I’ve only been to a few amusement parks over the years. A small one in Upstate NY called Enchanted Forest, Hershey Park (a few times), Great Escape (now Six Flags in NY), Darien Lake when I was younger, Cedar Point in Ohio (on my senior class trip), Kings Dominion, and now Busch Gardens. Enchanted Forest is almost purely a water park, and it, as well as Great Escape and Darien Lake, have probably changed so much since I went to them that I wouldn’t remember any of the rides. However, These are (fairly) limited amusement park experiences compared to many people, particularly my father. I also had only been on two roller coasters, both older, above-rail cart models, and hated them. One thing my father always tries to do is get my mother and I to try a below-rail coaster, because he thinks we would like them.

So yesterday we walk around Busch Gardens and take in the sights. The park is split up by “country” and has The British Isles (England, Ireland, and Scotland), France and New France (Canada), Germany and the “Bavarian” area, and Italy. Each main area has a coaster also - Scotland has the “Loch Ness Monster”, France has “Griffon” (the newest one), Germany has “Alpengeist” and “The Big Bad Wolf”, and Italy has “Apollo’s Chariot”. The park also has three water rides, two “4-D” adventure rides - “Corkscrew Hill” in Ireland and “Curse of DarKastle” in Germany (both of which are pretty damn fun), as well as a variety of other attractions. The limitations of Busch Gardens are fairly obvious, with only three water rides and five coasters it’s not a very big park. Most of the attraction in going there is in the different cultural areas. More on that later though. First I’d like to mention the four hour car ride. It’s actually fun, and from our house we got to take the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, which is insanely long. Woo!

Starting the Chesapeake Bay Bridge

So we take our time walking around, looking at the various sections and whatnot. They have a small animal section, where I saw online that they have grey wolves, more specifically, wolf pups. The bastards had the wolf section closed though because they do private tours with the wolves (that you have to pay extra for) some days, and it was one of those days. That sucked a lot. I did see a wolf though, so yay! We also caught the tail-end (pun unintentional) of a “Pet Shenanigans” show, which was amazingly cute. Trained house pets doing tricks, it was awesome. I have no idea how you train a cat, but they managed it. Probably drugs. Anyway, we also saw a few other neat things going on. On to the rides though.

The owl kept staring me down...

The first thing we did was hit the Ireland area. Ireland = awesome, so we figured that the Ireland section would be. It kinda was, nothing great. But it had a really fun ride. “Corkscrew Hill” is a “4-D” Adventure ride. Basically, you sit in chairs on a platform that’s on a ball bearing and watch a 3-D movie, and the platform moves all around, tilting, raising, lowering, etc. while you watch. It’s really fun, and the movie thing was really cute too. The only draw back was that the ride only has two platforms, and one was busted, so the line took twice as long to get on (almost an hour). It was still great fun though. Then our second stop was the skyride, which was disappointingly short. We tend to always hit the skyride, because it’s a fun way to get a good view of the whole park and pick out points of interest, so you have a better idea of what is there and what you want to see. Busch Gardens’ skyride is horrible though. It only takes you from England to France, then from France to Germany (you have to get off and back on), and from Germany to England (getting off and back on again). Not worth it, plus you can’t see 3 sections of the park from it. So that was a bust. Luckily we got off of it right at the carousel, my mom’s favorite. So we rode that.

My mother and father on the carousel.

We decided to hit up the other “4-D” Adventure ride next, “Curse of DarKastle”. I read about this one online, and it looks like a a sort of haunted house ride. Fun! So we got in line, which was rather long. This brings up one of the cool things at Busch Gardens. In their waiting lines for rides, they have fans set up that mist water as well, to keep you cool while you wait. This is the first time I’ve seen a park do this and I think it’s brilliant. So after getting inside we got on the ride. This one was like “Corkscrew Hill”, but it also moved you throughout the “house” so there is more than one screen with action on it, plus there are mechanical things going on, plus the cart you’re in is on tracks that can separate, tilt around, raise, and lower… the last of which they do rapidly. Overall we were actually a little disappointed in this ride. It’s slow, the graphics in the 3-D aren’t as good as in “Corkscrew Hill”, and it’s not at all frightening. If they sped up the cart movements, making it faster and more disorienting, I think the ride would be a lot better. Plus it could be longer. Though I will say it’s cool to see the rides using the newer 3-D technology. Onward  though!

A statue of wolves at the Curse of DarKastle ride.

After this we decided to hit water rides. Crista’s feet started hurting and we wanted to do water rides before she put on sneakers, so we headed for the log ride. Basically… you load into a little cart that floats on water, and it drags you up a hill then drops you down two big hills, splashing water everywhere. Awesome fun. These are the rides that confuse me a bit though. I’ve always hated roller coasters, but I love these rides… but they are basically the same thing. After this ride I ran back to the car and got Crista’s sneakers, and my own, for more comfortable walking, and we continued on. We walked around a bit more, got pretzels (which sucked) and drinks, and my parents went on the big swings, which they love. Then we kept walking. At this point we were heading through Germany and my dad saw a roller coaster he wanted to go on. As we get up to it, we check to make sure it doesn’t do any flips or loops (as Crista doesn’t like those) and suddenly my mom decides to go on it too. My mother has never ridden a roller coaster, because they scare her, but she decided she wanted  to try this one, “The Big Bad Wolf”. This is the 25th anniversary of this coaster, and it’s one of the first inverted coasters in the world. It also doesn’t do any loops, and it actually only has two hills, a small one and a medium sized one - overall a good coaster for her to try. They all go on it while I hold onto our stuff, because I don’t like coasters either, I’ve gotten sick on the only two I’ve ever gone on. They get off and my mom loved it! Yay! So we figured out that what my mom didn’t like about coasters was that the cart on top is too “open,” which frightens her. Next amusement park we go to you can be sure that my mom will be on more coasters now.

My mother after riding her first roller coaster.

So we continue on and go on the “Roman Rapids”. This is Busch Gardens name for the river rapids ride most parks have, which you get on a huge inner tube and ride it around a river which has sprays, waterfalls, and the like… and you get thoroughly soaked. Busch Gardens’ actually kind of sucks. It’s too short first off, and they only have three waterfalls, otherwise you really don’t get wet much. After this we walk up to “Escape from Pompeii”, which turned out to be my favorite ride. “Escape from Pompeii” is basically a huge log ride, with one big drop, but you go through this little “tour” of the ruins of Pompeii when suddenly the “volcano” becomes “active” again. It was a lot of fun, and there was a lot of fire (woo!), hehe. Amusingly, the riders don’t get too wet on this one, but anyone on the paths next to it do when it splashes down. I went on this one twice because it was so much fun. Plus it’s one of the ones that takes your photo as you hit the drop, and I had to act silly for the photo (didn’t get a copy though, not worth it).

After this was the big event… my parents and Crista convinced me to try the roller coaster. We walked back to “The Big Bad Wolf” and my dad and I got in line. Both coasters I had been on before were the “normal” above-track kind. This was my first try on an inverted. I wasn’t nervous, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. We got on after a surprisingly short  wait, and the coaster starts off slow. You go around a few twists then hit the first climb. This takes you up and then drops you down a 59 foot drop which twists a little. It was actually really  boring. Then suddenly you get stopped and start the second climb. This takes you up then around a corner where the second drop sneaks up on you. This one is a 99 foot drop straight towards the river that goes through the park, with a sharp series of twists afterward. Now that was exhilarating. I actually went “Woo!” instead of holding my breath like I normally do on drops. I loved it! I quickly discovered that my dislike of roller coasters was for the same reason my mother was afraid of them. I think next time I’ll be hitting a few of them too!

The 99 foot drop on "The Big Bad Wolf".

Mom and Crista standing by the sign for the coaster.

After this we ate in the German “Festhaus” which has “authentic” German good, and beer (Anheuser Busch… so crap, but better than no beer). It was alright, but nothing great. After this we went and bought our souvenirs (I got two, that’s it) and hit the last event of the day - Kinetix. This is a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance that could have been really good. The acrobats were amazing, but the singers/dancers were horrible, and the band they had playing didn’t stay together that well. I just ignored the music and watched the acrobatics. They were really good, with some hoop-play, unicyclists, and other well-done stunts. After this we braved the exit-crowds and made our way back to the car.

Over-all it was a really fun day, although I have to say Busch Gardens is rather crappy for an amusement park. I’d definitely rate Hershey Park or Kings Dominion over it, and hopefully we’ll hit up one of those two later this summer. If you’re looking for rides, it’s not your place. If you’re looking for a cultural “infusion” it’s also not your place. These days it seems like Busch Gardens is more there for it’s own history than anything else. Their different cultural areas are rather lacking, and seem more a sad gimmick than anything fun. And there shows aren’t that good either. But a fun day was had by all, and that’s all that matters. *And my mother and I like roller coasters now!

Here’s the link for the rest of the photos on my Flickr - Adventures at Busch Gardens.

~Ian

I just went for a walk. Yes thats right, that thing which requires physical movement and involves putting on foot in front of the other in order to induce this movement. Many people don’t understand this concept anymore. I figured I’d describe it to jog your wormhole ridden memories. Anyway… the point of this walk was to indulge one of my cancer forming habits. I was successful in this endeavor. I was also successful in the secondary objective of my walk, which was observation. When I’m awake, I observe. It’s a thing I do, I can’t help it. The point! I saw a few things which inspired me to rant. I’ve already ranted once today, which made me very happy, a second rant only improves this mood. So now, wired on caffeine (which is normal), slightly high on nicotine, and blasting Techno into my skull (using headphones in order as to not annoy my roommates, who aren’t usually appreciative of the Techno… although neither am I usually…) in order to induce hyper-ness, I’m going to rant to you, my semi-loyal readers.

My observation senses were assaulted before I even got out of my apartment, as I opened the door to see a gaggle of people entering the apartment across from mine (which they recently moved in to). Four girls and two boys carrying a case of beer (I believe it was Miller Lite or Budwiser, some nasty beer I only let pass my lips if it’s free). Now first off, this group’s combined age looked to be about 72… aka each of them looked about 12. I’m dead serious. I’m only fucking 21 myself and these kids looked like high schoolers. Not what I was expecting, although I’m not surprised. They probably are all 18-19, and probably did buy the beer themselves. Not that I have anything against “under-age” drinking (although I wouldn’t call drinking that cat piss “drinking”…) but still… pathetic. I continued to move into the outdoors after I squeezed passed this group on the stairway and was almost immediately assaulted by a car speeding past blaring rap (see my previous rant for my thoughts on that one). I proceeded with the immediate cause of my venture, and then decided movement down the street was in my best interest. In my walk I observed 3 more cars blasting rap, 2 of them speeding down my tiny one way street (a good way to smash into someone at the intersection by my apartment). I also saw 2 people walking their dogs, another sitting in an SUV with his tiny yapper dog going insane, and a few talking on their cell phones while driving down the street.

Now, I’m all for do what you want, when you want, but Jesus Bloody Fucking Hitler Christ, pay attention to what you are doing, and stop being so fucking stupid. The only people I walked past that I didn’t want to kick in the chest and then bitch slap were the two walking their dogs, as they weren’t doing anything blatantly retarded. If you started giving two tugs of a dead dogs cock (I’d like to thank Warren Ellis for introducing me to that colorfully wonderful phrase) you might realize that there are other things going on around you, like people trying to cross the street, or those of us trying to enjoy or sins of the flesh in peace an quiet, not pounding bass and drums with some retard “rapping” over it.

I’ve been reading Warren Ellis’s Transmetropolitan recently (and anyone who’s read it will distinctly notice it’s influence on my rantings…) and the society in which Spider Jerusalem rants about is now, with far less technology, people doing retarded things to other people, sometimes without even realizing it, and not even noticing that there are consquences.
-I just switched over to some Buckethead because the repetitiveness of the Techno was already stating to get to me.-
I’d love to be in a medium which people payed attention to get my point across. You aren’t the only person on the planet, and your lifestyle is interfering with others ability to enjoy life. And I’m not just talking about myself right now. I can put up with a lot of shit, I try not to let it bug me, because I appreciate the philosophy of “Live and Let Live,” but someone people can’t put up with shit, and there is a lot of shit in the world. I walk outside and I can smell it, hear it, see, it and taste it. It’s invading the world around us, and we need to do something about it. Look outside, do you like the world you see out there? No? Do something about it. Yes? Wipe the blood, grime, and shit from your eyes and open them wider. It’s a shit-hole world we’ve been stuck with. Don’t settle for it.

I realize I’ve combined two seemingly different rants, but really they are directly related. You figure out how, I can’t shove everything in your face.

Out for now, I’m sure something else will inspire me to scream at you some more.

~Ian

Okay, so I’m running through some idea’s of what to do on the site here, and I figured I would post them up and see what you people think. Leave some comments!

Idea 1 - Retro Reviews: I’ll write a review a week on an older album (say… Pink Floyd’s The Wall or Tool’s Aenima), just for fun, and give me thoughts on the band, album, and other music that the album has influenced.

Idea 2 - Current Reviews: Ditto to the above, only brand new music just coming out as opposed to albums that have been out for a few years+

Idea 3 - Cigar/Scotch/Beer Reviews: Not really asking if people want to read these, as Brandon and I have already started posting them, heh.

Idea 4 - Philosophy/Politics/Religion/whatever Rants: Once again, not really asking, these are going to be posted whether you want them to be or not.

Thats it for idea’s for now, if you people want to see me write on/about/through/under anything else, just let me know in comments. Thats all for now.

~Ian